Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
