so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
