Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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