he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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