Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
