I think my vagina is haunted
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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