my shit smells like andre
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
