is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
