Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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