I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
