Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
