I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
