She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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