My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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