This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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