You can't motorboat a personality
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize