I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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