Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize