Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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