just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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