apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
did you just send me my own nude
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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