I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize