Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
