The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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