Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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(812): View more from Indiana

We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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(314): View more from Missouri

i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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(705): View more from Ontario

Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Send help

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(207): View more from Maine

Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!

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