If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
