Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
