I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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