yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
