I wannas sexs uuuuu
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
