Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
