Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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