It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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