never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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