i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
