i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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