have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize