Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
