i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
