where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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