We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
