I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
