she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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