i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
