Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
