oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
