I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
