Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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