The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
