his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
