did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize