after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
