apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
