it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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